Sunday, October 17, 2004


Yeah, yeah. Basically, this is another Ramadhan post, just like Hani's, Pick Yin's Najah's, Zsarina's, Jordan's, Idlan's, Dina's, Ash's, oh, hell, who knows. You're a Muslim? You're fasting? Post lah your YARP, before they take away your blogger's license.

Funny thing is, I can never seem to connect to Najah's and Zsarina's blogs. They always time out on me. I wonder why.

Anyway. Ramadhan. That time of the year again. Hell, what do I put in for my YARP? We've had our obligatory musings, the occasional Qur'anic verse, tales of how converts deal with Ramadhan and what not. Personally, I like Dina's Ramadhan post best — this one doesn't count, it's too short. It reminds me that the puasa is not just a religious thing, but an essentially human thing, with all the stupidities and snobberies associated with it.

I know, I know. Not happy with something until I take it down. I'm not very sentimental at all, am I? Not really. Yes, I know the significance of Ramadhan, as well as the associated hikmah that Ramadhan is supposed to teach. But every time this month comes I am assaulted not by holiness, but by memory.

My past two Ramadhans have been easy, but completely lonely. This is the first time in two years where it feels like I am performing the ibadah as a member of a community, not as an isolated Muslim in a sea of unbelievers. I didn't hang around the Muslim community in London a lot, see.

I kept forgetting how social Ramadhan was, until I didn't have that buffer surrounding me. Alone, by myself, I was reminded how precarious my situation was, and it hurt. It rubbed my soul raw, in a sense, because I felt like I had no anchor — either with family or my fellow Muslim friends.

Not this time. Yesterday we ended up having buka puasa with some friends. Blew a fortune, but it was worth it. Tonight is more or less the same, except that I won't be blowing a fortune — the food will hopefully be free. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure this year I'll never be breaking fast alone. If I can help it, I never want to break fast alone again.

I'm glad I'm home.

Blogger hyelbaine said...

Very true, breaking fast alone is no fun at all. Happy fasting to you dude ;)

Cheers!!! :D

11:28 AM  
Blogger HANI said...

I adore you. You are very deep. Even though you tempt me to pat you on the head and pinch your cheeks a lot.

And you're the first to trackback me!

1:26 PM  
Blogger Zsarina said...

YARP...nice..Am sure your family is happy you are home for puasa and later on, Raya. I have to say, despite being in Malaysia, Ramadhan has been pretty depressing for me so far. And as for being timed out of my site. Well, I haven't been able to access my site at all this weekend!

5:46 AM  
Blogger Najah said...

Breaking fast alone is not fun. Which is why I love Ramadhan in KL. Despite THOSE people who try to run down those buffets - I kind of like the spirit such event bring - togetherness and a whole lot of mushy whushy stuff for people who don't have the ability to cook!

We have to do a MakanSakan thing soon.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Pick Yin said...

i tend to eat less when buka puasa alone. so, yes, we should do the makansakan thing so i can eat more.. >)

5:02 PM  
Blogger T-Boy said...

HANI: You're so weird. Deep? I thought I was being shallow.

Zsarina: I know! It's been weird. Streamyx sometimes refuses to let me connect to a certain number of sites, sometimes everything is hunky-dory.

Najah: Alah. People are barrelstoppers everywhere. I find that if I have to choose between missing home and my twerp countrymen, I prefer the latter over the former =)

Pick Yin: Yes, we need to do a MakanSakan thing. Broke, though X( Do you folks have any idea where you guys wanna go?

5:16 PM  
Blogger Najah said...

I was about to suggest a hotel or someplace comfortable (where we can eat, maghrib, eat, talk, eat ...), how long will you be broke for?

6:39 PM  
Blogger Dina Zaman said...

last year's puasa was very very lonely and this year will e even more painful. but as they say, if you can survive ramadhan, you can survive anything.

like this!

10:48 PM  

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