Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Oh, You Silly Guv'mint People!

Inspired by a friend of mine. I don't agree with her a lot, but she has a point. Yes, she's a LiveJournal user. So?

Typical life. I spend the weekend under a bed, living on my own refuse and crying like a man with his soul broken up by cruel, cruel fate spending time with my family and friends, and someone Way Up There stirs up a hornet's nest we call the Malaysian “blogosphere” Blogging Community.

Just a question to Jalan Riong: Why lah so stupid? Oh, I'm sure that what you want will eventually happen, and you know, things will eventually settle down to the horribly unpleasant status quo that everyone seems to desire, so why bother doing this? All you've done is made Jeff famous. And if it's anything, he doesn't need to get any more famous.

I like Jeff. Not because he's funny, or amusing, or even personable (I don't even know the man, so how would I know?), but because he has that obssessive-compulsive streak about him; the kind of obssessive-compulsive streak that's very useful if you were, say, a MAS or ASTRO customer. Very useful.

Except now that you've made him all saintly and shit, because you've just decided to take on the role of the Bad Guy. The Bad Guy with the UMNO-Youth-style manner of intimidation, all force and no class. You might know what I'm talking about — the self-righteous, easily-offended martyr for his race who wants the people who said those hurtful hurtful things to stop, and he'll beat up and intimidate everybody, like some kind of Johorian Loan Shark or my girlfriend on PMS to get his way.

I mean, really. You even got TV Smith to write poetry. Poetry. It looks like Bad Goth Poetry. My GOD. It's an ode. I never thought he'd stoop so low.

You know what the fan-bloggers, the bloggers who write about unimportant shit like who dies in Buffy and why Captain Archer's so fucking hot (can't say I disagree with that, hoo boy!) or why they want to marry Legolas and have his squealing babies think when they see the righteous furor that the Jalan Riong nastiness has engendered?

“My God,” they'd say. “They're blog-wanking.”

And it's all your fault. Thanks a lot, Jalan Riong. Now they're just going to be insufferable. All that heat from the Higher Ups, see. Dries out their sense of humor. Very the not nice to see, you.

And I know I'm gonna catch some flak now. If only in the form of well-intentioned advice.

Blogger serabut said...

I mean, really. You even got TV Smith to write poetry. Poetry. It looks like Bad Goth Poetry. My GOD. It's an ode. I never thought he'd stoop so low.*DIES LAUGHING* OMG YESYESYES. [/orgasm] :D

Man, can you smell the splooge?

Ffft, all this wanking... been there, mocked that, bought the splooge-retardant t-shirt.

12:15 PM  
Blogger fooji said...

superb, tariq, just superb.

Well, after all the reaction from bloggers, yours is perhaps the most funny, and making the most sense out of it.

Yeah, let's face it, Jeff Ooi is no angel, but of course he is way smarter than the people in UMNO youth and the Media Prima.

8:37 PM  
Blogger T-Boy said...

Yes. Being compared to something with, say, 0 INT, like a sponge or a zombie, is something to be proud of.

9:13 PM  
Blogger Bella Jean said...

Captain Archer!! Squee hee hee!!

This whole bruhaha is a waste of time, and I have better things to do like chronicle t3h h4wtn3ss that is Captain Archer (ok not really), Lt Reed (yes, really)... and of course who dies on [insert your TV show here] this week!! *gasp*

9:58 PM  
Blogger The Allegations said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:36 AM  
Blogger T-Boy said...

Should have deleted you months ago. I wonder why I didn't.

1:03 AM  

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